why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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