I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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