Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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