She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Randomize
