now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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