Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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