So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
