You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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