dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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