so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
