Quick, to the slutcave!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
