Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's shark week go big or go home
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
