Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
