Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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