I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
