If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
