I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
