im gay
i know
yea but for you.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
