She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
