Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
