dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
