is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
