Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
