they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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