You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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