We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
