ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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