Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
