Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
