I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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