i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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