That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
