I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
