Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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