the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize