She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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