im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize