i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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