you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
