there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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