At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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