Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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