i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
