why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
