I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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