why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
