It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
