I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
