we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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