I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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