Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
