quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
