You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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