I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
