But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
