He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just blew my weed a kiss
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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