dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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