It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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