All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
