yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
