this boner is exhausting
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
