And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
