I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
