I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
