Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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