Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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